she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
