Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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