im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
