it hurts more in the daytime
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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