you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
