i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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