we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
