Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
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