Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
