Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
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