i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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