The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize