guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
