is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
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Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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