so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
