So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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