so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
