Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
