Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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