I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
