She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
