Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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