You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We just shotgunned beers for America
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
