I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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