My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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