i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
