that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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