I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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