this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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