I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
