this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
