shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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