Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
