I just threw up on my dentist
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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