Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?

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(604): he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him? http://tfl.nu/uzgr

Replies (65) Good night (734) Bad night (6660)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?

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(802): Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase? http://tfl.nu/m4dc

Replies (7) Good night (2388) Bad night (591)
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(217): View more from Illinois

i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.

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(217): i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet. http://tfl.nu/nuvu

Replies (55) Good night (1049) Bad night (3751)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

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(617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate http://tfl.nu/fqo5

Replies (32) Good night (7904) Bad night (668)
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(425): View more from Washington

It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."

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(425): It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo." http://tfl.nu/u5wa

Replies (44) Good night (17091) Bad night (1331)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.

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(314): I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk. http://tfl.nu/s5cc

Replies (15) Good night (6214) Bad night (902)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep

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(630): She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/xep7

Replies (41) Good night (18293) Bad night (1237)
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(469): View more from Texas

Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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(469): Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take http://tfl.nu/rvcg

Replies (13) Good night (2631) Bad night (1455)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.

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(321): as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels. http://tfl.nu/o5u7

Replies (5) Good night (3816) Bad night (753)
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(315): View more from New York

Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?

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(315): Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay? http://tfl.nu/8s61

Replies (14) Good night (2201) Bad night (917)
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(303): View more from Colorado

You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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(303): You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead. http://tfl.nu/vdho

Replies (1) Good night (2027) Bad night (467)
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(310): View more from California

Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.

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(310): Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes. http://tfl.nu/zngo

Replies (2) Good night (1355) Bad night (493)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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(410): I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful. http://tfl.nu/rt55

Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (1805)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors

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(250): Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors http://tfl.nu/eym3

Replies (1) Good night (472) Bad night (282)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.

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(303): Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary. http://tfl.nu/16rt

Replies (2) Good night (946) Bad night (256)

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