there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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