do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.