and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize