Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
