i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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