I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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