he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
