Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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