due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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