It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
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Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
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Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!