Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i now understand why vodka
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor