so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday