i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
