I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have post one night stand depression
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