Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
you never un-have a 4some
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
