I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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