she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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