I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
