Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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