Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
