I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
