Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
