Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
