i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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