I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
