Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
