You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
