How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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