I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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