you guys were way drunker than both of me
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
not ubering you a puppy
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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