Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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