So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
